You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
