So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
