so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
