i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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