If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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