I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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