He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize