Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
