so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize