Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
