Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
