Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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