our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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