sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
