I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
