Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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