There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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