I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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