GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
