giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
