if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
