So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
