it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
