you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
