Porn is love you can see.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
