he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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