in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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