eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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