That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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