My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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