Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
