cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize