I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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