How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize