if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
