I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
