I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
