I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
