My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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