low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
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Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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