So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
