can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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