I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
