Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
