you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
