Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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