Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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