coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
