we're chasing vodka with high fives
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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