one might say we're banned from that church
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
