I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
