I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
