Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we're so committed to being not committed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
