I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
