hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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