this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
